Balancing Being an Individual and Part of a Couple

          A lot of times when people enter into a relationship, they can lose a part of their individualism. They feel they have to sacrifice a part of themselves for their relationship to make it work. However, a lot of the time, this will lead to conflict in the relationship because one or both of the members of the relationship don’t feel like themselves.


          When figuring out what kind of therapy is best for you in terms of your relationship, it’s best to think about what is best for you and your partner. Sometimes couples opt to do individual therapy, or joint therapy sessions where each partner meets individually with a therapist. However, this usually doesn’t allow the therapist to see how the couple reacts towards each other and under stressful or emotional situations. A more ideal scenario would be combined couples therapy, where both partners meet at the same time with a single therapist.


          This scenario often works the best because it brings both individuals into the room together and allows them to work out their issues together. The Gottman Method is a highly regarded method with the aim to disarm conflicting verbal communication, increase intimacy, respect, affection, and remove barriers that create a feeling of stagnancy in conflicting situations.


          One important process of the Gottman Method is a focus on each individual in the relationship. After an initial joint session, each partner completes questionnaires and individual interviews before receiving feedback on their relationship. Based off of these individual meetings, the therapist sets a plan with the couple moving forward to ensure a deepened emotional connection and focus on the couple’s shared goals.


          Sometimes, individual counseling may be necessary. However, when focusing on your marriage, joint sessions with therapeutic intervention are more likely to bring you closer and help you both manage the problems you view within your relationship. A lot of people think they need to work on themselves before they can fully commit to working on issues within their relationship. A lot of things can successfully be addressed in the light of improving your most important relationship: the one with your partner.  Don’t forget, you’re still an individual. Understanding what you want, your worries, and what you bring to the table, will only further assist a healthier and closer relationship between you and your partner.